Anything For A Buck
by Dude13
Summary: It's a bit unnerving to see how desperate certain imaginary friends are to gain some extra cash. [Oneshot]


**Author's Warning**: Like everything else, this takes place in my series, set up by the events in my first story "More Than My Friend" where the big event is that Frankie adopts Mac as her "little brother". If you haven't read that story yet, I strongly suggest you do so now, or else you might get confused.

Please read and review, any feedback is always appreciated!

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_RINGRING_! _RINGRING_! _RINGRING_!

The lanky redhead grumbled darkly under her breath as she clumsily dug into her pocket. The fact that someone was calling wouldn't have been _nearly_ as irritating had it not arrived literally right before she dozed off on the sofa.

"…Yeah?" Frances "Frankie" Foster finally answered her cell phone with a yawn.

For a few seconds, all she could hear was deep, heavy breathing, followed by a low, menacing rasp of a voice.

"All right, you listen up, and you listen up good, redhead don't tell _anyone_ about this, y'hear? One word to the police or your grannie, and the kid _gets_ it!" Replied a a sinister growl. "You got that, toots?"

"…_Excuse_ me?" The caretaker replied incredulously as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"I'm only gonna say this once, lady." The gruff snarl continued. "If you ever, _ever_ wanna see your little brother again, then leave twenty bucks in an unmarked brown paper bag outside the-"

"Bloo…do you honestly think I'm _that_ stupid?" Frankie suddenly interrupted crankily. Almost immediately the line seemed to go dead for a good half minute.

"Uh…." The "kidnapper" grunted before lapsing into a familiar shrill squeak in his panic. "This…um…this isn't….I'm serious, if you don't fork over the dough-"

"Okay, three pointers, Mister Criminal Mastermind. " The caretaker explained bluntly. "One, _no_ real crook kidnaps someone for only twenty dollars. Two, it's _very_ hard for me to believe someone's holding Mac for ransom when he's right _here_."

As she gave the napping eight-year-old lying curled up against her side a gentle pat, a certain imaginary friend desperately made a last-ditch attempt to salvage his ludicrous ploy.

"Um…uh…no, no he's not!" Came the woefully stubborn reply. "Nuh-uh! He's right here, tied and gagged here in the warehouse, and you're _never_ gonna see him until-"

"_Why_ must you lie to me Bloo?" Frankie groaned wearily. "Mac's with me as we speak, and you of all people should know that, because number three, _I can see you from here_!"

Still clutching the rotary phone tightly in his blobby stubs, the little imaginary friend locked gazes with her from the hallway and immediately began to fidget about nervously.

"No I'm not!" he finally wailed piteously. "Mac's _so_ definitely been abducted, a-and you gotta pay the kidnappers to-"

When the caretaker's cold glare revealed that she clearly wasn't buying a single word, Bloo finally put a badly-needed end to the pathetic façade and hung up with a despondent sigh.

"No fair…" he protested like a whiny toddler.

"For Pete's sake, _how_ many times have we had this conversation?" Frankie rolled her eyes and immediately began to scold. "Three, four times in the last few days? If you really need some money that bad, for the last time you're _not_ going to get it by trying to convince me that Mac's been captured by some thug!"

"Well, this wouldn't happen if you'd just lend me a few bucks like I asked you for last week!" he swiftly countered, as if it were somehow her fault. "Maybe if you weren't such a cold-hearted miser, I wouldn't be forced to do this just to get enough to pay for the bare essentials I need to get by from day to day-"

"_What_ essentials?" she argued, interrupting his rare show of eloquence. "Your room and board are free! If you're talking about all those comic books you're rotting your mind with-"

"Nuh-uh!" he protested defiantly. "I need it for…f-for…uh…….look it doesn't matter, okay? All I know is that if _you_ won't lend me a few dollars, how can I-"

"Bloo, I've probably said this a hundred times before, and I'll say it again, I'm _not_ giving you one cent!" the girl vehemently refused. "I work hard for my paycheck, and _you_ of all people should know that, seeing as I spend half my time cleaning up after you-"

"No fair! No fair!" the little blob instantly began to kick up a fuss. "But you give Mac-"

"Mac gets his allowance because unlike you, he helps me around the house." She explained with an exasperated sigh. "If you _really_ need some money, then there are _more_ than enough opportunities for you to earn it yourself. How about you try and sell something? Remember your lemonade stand? Well now that the weather's nice, how about-"

"…If the _next_ time I called and I did it from a payphone, would you believe that-" Bloo tried to inquire none-too-subtly.

"_No more fake kidnappings_!" she snarled, sending the startled imaginary friend scrambling off for the sake of his own safety.

"Okay, okay! Fine, _be_ that way, Miss Scrooge!" he murmured ruefully while he scuttled off. "Cripes, it's getting harder and harder for a guy to earn an honest buck around here…"

"No, the whole point is that you're _not_ trying to…oh, forget it…"

Before she could protest any further, the imaginary friend had vanished from sight. Not in the mood to put up with any more nonsense anyway, she hugged Mac a little closer and shut her eyes tightly as she settled down for a quick nap.

"Sad thing is," she murmured drowsily to her slumbering companion, " I bet he's probably gonna forget everything I said in the next five minutes…"

* * *

The young woman grinned from ear to ear as she turned off the stream of hot water. For her, there were few pleasures that were more rejuvenating than a nice long shower. Feeling completely revitalized, Frankie started to whistle a lighthearted tune as she reached out from behind the shower curtain, 

"Huh? What the…"

Much to her surprise, she simply could not seem to find her bathrobe for the life of her. Assuming that it had merely tumbled from wherever she had hung it, the girl opted instead to feel about blindly until she had snatched a towel. Unfortunately, much to her immense befuddlement she wasn't able to find so much as one scrap of terrycloth, even though she could've sworn two or three clean towels had been hanging up before she hopped in the shower earlier.

"What in the world…" she mumbled incredulously.

"Tired of getting out of the shower cold, wet and naked?" someone suddenly announced loudly in crude imitation of an infomercial spokesman. Shocked to find that she wasn't alone, the girl involuntarily screeched in surprise as the mysterious spokesman continued.

"Are you absolutely sick of showering and not being able to find so much as a rag to cover yourself? Do you think to yourself every time this happens, "there simply _has_ to be a better way than this?" Look no further, your prayers have been answered!"

"_BLOO_?" the stunned redhead involuntarily yelped as recognition dawned upon her.

After poking her head out, not only did she manage to spot the all-too-familiar blob standing a few feet away, but she realized apparently while she had been showering, _someone_ had seized upon opportunity to strip the bathroom of all towels, her clothes, robe, and even the bath mats.

"That's right, folks!" Bloo continued in the same cheesy tone, as he sported a bright red tie. "At Bloo's Towel's 'n Stuff, we have everything you can imagine for the girl who's chilly and nude! Try one of luxurious bathrobes! Or maybe you'd like a mat to rest those wet feet on? Whatever you heart could desire, we have at all, right here at rock bottom prices! Remember, at Bloo's Towels 'n Stuff, we pass the savings on to _you_, the customer! So come on down, and-"

"Dear Lord, _what_ do you think you're doing?" The infuriated Frankie cut him off with an ear-piercing shriek. Bloo just beamed like a nitwit and puffed out his chest with pride.

"I've caught the entrepreneurial spirit, that's what!" he proclaimed happily. "I've started my own business, just like you said I should! What better way to make a couple bucks then to try and sell what people really need-"

"By actually stealing all of their clothes?" the redhead hissed in disbelief. "You little rat, this definitely is _not_ what I meant! Ooooh, you-"

"It's not stealing!" he explained while still wearing his moronic smirk. "It's called supply and demand, Frankie! I _demand_ that I earn some extra cash, so I _supply_ you back your robe and towels-"

"You did! You _did_ come in here while I was in the shower, you scummy troll!" she snarled like a rabid pit bull.

"Hey, why the big fuss?" Bloo laughed as the girl was hurtled into a seething rage. "Don't tell me you've already forgotten my low, low prices! With these great bargains, how can you go wrong? For just fifteen dollars, I'll give you this nice polka-dotted washcloth that'll really do the trick of drying your face off a little-"

"You rat!" Frankie bellowed. " I'm _not_ going to pay you to get _my_ own clothes back! Even if I was dumb enough to fall for you stupid scam, _how_ would I do it? _I don't bring my wallet with me into the shower_!"

"Well why didn't you say so?" Bloo chortled. "For no money down, I can get you three wash cloths for the price of two, and if you just pay five dollars a day for the next week-"

Quickly realizing that she clearly wasn't getting anywhere with the little swindler, the caretaker ignored all the gibberish about his payment plan as she cupped her hands around her mouth and began to holler as loudly as she could,

"MAC! MAC, GET DOWN HERE! MAAAAAAC! I NEED-"

Suddenly, she went as mute as a tree stump the moment she realized Bloo was trying to suppress a mad fit of the giggles.

"….What're _you_ so happy about?" she whined, fidgeting about with a few soggy strands of hair as his merriment thoroughly unnerved her. Still stifling a few chortles, the imaginary friend plastered an unsettling toothy grin into his face and began talking ever so sweetly,

"Are you sick and tired of your adopted little brother running into mishap after mishap when you need him most, with no relief at all for every minor tragedy that befalls you or the little scamp? Well your troubles are no over, because once you purchase "Bloo's Little Bro Insurance" for a nominal fee-"

"BLOO, _WHAT _DID YOU DO TO HIM?"

* * *

"Coco co!" the avian imaginary friend muttered sourly, but nevertheless followed her badly shaken bullish companion. 

"No, no I swear!" Eduardo whimpered persistently in his thick Spanish accent as he trembled like a leaf. "The walls, they are _alive_! I swear!"

"Cococo Co Coco!" Coco just squawked grumpily and shook her head, obviously not buying his ridiculous claim for one second. " Coco coco co coco!"

"No!" he whined miserably. "It's not just a mouse! It's these spooky crazy walls, I tell you! They make these creepy noises, and they…wait, wait! _Here_! _This_ is where the crazy talking walls are-"

" Coco…" his unconvinced friend grumbled.

" No, no, it's the truth!" Eduardo begged. "Listen, if you be muy silencioso, you hear them, but they talk muy soft, so shhhh! Listen closely…"

Begrudgingly, Coco placed her head up against the wall with her companion and together they listened in dead silence, until,

"I'M COMING, PAL! HOLD ON! I'M COMING! JUST HOLD ONNNNNNNNN!"

"_AAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH_!" Eduardo immediately bellowed in fright the instant the hideous racket assaulted his eardrums, and like a purple-furred juggernaut he was hastily hurtling off down the hallway, roaring at the top of his lungs,

"Alive! The walls, they is so mad! Mad! Oh, so mad! Run, run will you can, before they destroy us all! _AAAAAAAAA_!"

While he frantically stampeded off, Coco's meanwhile went dead frozen in her horrific shock, though not before involuntarily laying a particularly large egg with a frightened squawk.

Fortunately, to both her relief and immense confusion, the hideous clamor wasn't the cry of any vengeful wall, but the hysterical shrieks of a dripping-wet redhead who suddenly skidded onto the scene. Before Coco could register the fact that Frankie was sopping wet and clad in a makeshift dress hastily fashioned from what looked like a shower curtain however,

"STAND BACK!" the girl screamed to the wall. Without even thinking, Frankie nabbed the freshly laid plastic egg, raised it high above her head,

"_EYAAAAAA_!" she screeched like an Amazon warrioress before bringing down the improvised tool with a hideous strength borne of desperation.

_WHAM_! _WHAM_! _WHAM_!

With only three powerful blows, the redhead had reduced the egg to a crumpled mess and had created a gaping hole in the drywall. Frankie immediately tossed her makeshift club away, reached in, and with one furious yank, removed one dirty and _very_ shaken little boy.

"_Mac_! Oh my God, oh my God…." She fretted uncontrollably like a mother hen as she dropped to her knees and swept Mac into a tight hug. "Are you okay, pal? Are you hurt? Where you into here long? Mac? Pal, are you okay?"

As she fussed over him, the shaken child just stared vacantly into her eyes, gazed back at the hole he had been retrieved from, than whimpered softly,

"_How_?" he whined in pained bewilderment before coughing up some dust.

Frankie just groaned as she stroked his head furiously. "Don't worry, it's okay, pal, it's…"

"Coco co?" A befuddled Coco squawked worriedly. " Coco?"

"Who do you _think_ got me in there? And if I knew how he got me in there, then don't you think I would've gotten out by now?" Mac couldn't help but snap.

"Co coco!" she hissed grumpily in offense, flapping her stubby wings.

"Well excuse me, it's not like I wasn't just crawling around in the dark for-"

"Whoa, hey, c'mon!" Frankie instinctively tried to break up the brewing squabble. "Hey! Guys, this isn't the time for-"

"You'd be testy too if you got…wait...wait, how'd you find out that I was...oh, _please_, don't tell me that you..." Mac begged as the awful realization dawned upon him.

"Um..." The redhead chuckled nervously and flashed an apologetic grin as her face began to glow with a brilliant scarlet. "Well...he really wanted the extra cash, so either I promised to give him _something_, or-"

"Oh you did! You _did_!" the child groaned dejectedly. "You _did_ pay Bloo off, didn't you?"

"I...uh..." she mumbled, not exactly willing to admit the embarrassing truth. "I had to find you, so-"

"I _knew_ it!" Mac wailed. "Frankie, why? _Why_? You _know_ this is only going to encourage him, you seriously should've left me here-"

"Mac, I _wasn't_ going to leave you in the wall just to save a dollar or two!" she countered. "You should've known that! Look, either I-"

"I know, but-" the boy persisted.

"Oh, knock it off! Besides...did I say that's _all_ I forked out a couple dollars for?" the redhead suddenly asked with a devious sparkle in her eye as she exactly managed a mischievous smirk, much to the colossal surprise of the others.

"...Huh?"

"Co?"

The caretaker snickered lightly. "You guys really have _no_ idea how desperate he is for a couple extra bucks..."

* * *

"Welcome to Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends." The large imaginary rabbit greeted formally as soon as he answered the door. "How may we help you today …"

For a few seconds, an extraordinarily puzzled Mr. Herriman couldn't help but trail off and gawk dumbly at the familiar azure blob standing before him.

"Er….Master Blooragard?" he murmured softly. "What on earth possessed you to ring the doorbell when you know perfectly well you can let yourself into the – _OOF_!"

Never saying a word, the little imaginary friend gulped nervously before suddenly lunging towards the unsuspecting Head of Business Affairs and scoring a direct hit in Mr. Herriman's gut with a well-aimed dropkick.

"_AAARRRGGHH_!" the rabbit bellowed in a hideous mix of agony and rage the moment he was knocked back upon the floor, where he clutched his aching stomach tightly. "Oh, you scoundrel! You wretched barbarian! Assaulting an innocent rabbit when he least expects it? Coward! Knave! Ooooh, if you think I'll let you off with a mere hour in the corner…"

Growling ferociously like a rabid hound, Mr. Herriman clambered to his feet and instinctively nabbed a parasol from the umbrella stand. Not exactly willing to stick around and see what the bloodthirsty rabbit wanted to do with it, Bloo clambered upright and was off outside in a flash, screeching shrilly with terror as the hunter promptly gave chase at a swift hop.

"Come back here, you wretch!" Mr. Herriman hollered as he swung his improvised weapon wildly. "Come back here I say! So it's a fight you want, eh? Don't say I didn't warn you!"

"_AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!" Bloo just emanated a high-pitched shriek as he was pursued all around the front lawn.

While the insanity continued unchecked, neither predator nor prey noticed the shower curtain–clad redhead saunter out onto the porch with her two companions, take a seat, and grinned from ear to ear as she happily watched the madness like a toddler watching Sesame Street.

"….Frankie?" Mac whimpered as he stood beside her, while Coco gawked slack-jawed in stupefied silence at the ludicrous sight. "What's _that_?"

Frankie just beamed happily and absentmindedly tousled his hair.

"Only the best extra five bucks I ever spent in my entire life…"

**The End **


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